Moms know that there is no real playbook to use. We just try really hard, learn along the way and hope we don’t do anything too bad that is going to screw up our kid. The most we know about being a mother is from our own childhood. We either want to emulate our own mom to recreate our childhood or do things differently to make life even better for our kids.
I enjoy sharing our journey on this blog with the hope that something I share can help someone else, not to make another parent feel guilty for not making the same exact choices. That same rule applies to my own Mom. I had an amazing childhood and hope that my daughter gets to enjoy hers as much as I did. The fact that I made a choice to feed my daughter organic foods or buy different toys does not make me any better than my mother who basically let us eat whatever we wanted but still managed to keep us healthy.
My Mom doesn’t understand some of my “rules” for Harper or really why I am so obsessed with what’s in her food or products. When we grew up in the 80s and 90s, processed foods were cool and most school lunches consisted of pizza, chicken nuggets, french fries and some form of beef with gravy and mashed potatoes. You might have seen some corn or steamed mixed veggies on a plate but the focus as a society was not on eating whole foods and understanding what’s actually in the foods we eat. I know for sure that our local grocery store did not have an organic foods section.
Raising a child in 2017 is a different world with access to a plethora of information online and social media pressure to be a super mom. I’m always trying to learn and make the best choices that I can for my family but just because I’m doing something slightly different, does not mean I disagree with how I was raised.
My Mom is one of those people that you know was born to be a mother – gentle, loving, patient and nurturing. She wears her heart on her sleeve. I am the exact opposite. I strive to be the type of Mom that she was for me and probably have to work at it more than she ever did. Many of my choices – that she doesn’t understand and probably feels like they challenge her own parenting – are really because of her.
My brother and I grew up knowing we were loved and always felt safe. We were given the freedom to make (sometimes bad) decisions but rules to know that we had boundaries. We were told that we could be anything we wanted, but we also knew that we would always have a support system to rely on when we needed it. We learned to have confidence in ourselves and became successful adults. My Mom showed us our roots but encouraged us to have wings.
On this Mother’s Day, as I am learning to parent a toddler, I appreciate my Mom more than ever and hope that I can be as good as her someday, even if I do things a little differently.
To my Mom, you have impacted my parenting more than you know. Thank you for being a great role model to me and an even better Nanny to Harper.
To my daughter, I love being your Mama and promise to try my best to be the mom that you deserve.
On my second Mother’s Day and first with my blog, thank you to all of the Mommy Bloggers for sharing your stories and allowing me to learn from you too.
One thought on “Learning how to be a Mom from my (great) Mom”
So here is the perspective from the Almostorganicmama’s mama. Thank you for the compliments and Happy Mother’s Day to my daughter.
Motherhood is an amazing thing. As I read through this blog and read the impact I have had on my daughter in her parenting skills, I stepped myself back to the time when I was the mother of the toddler, now the author of this blog, trying to figure out how to be a mom and yes, we do just try really hard and hope we don’t do anything too bad that is going to screw up our kid.
It is so interesting, as I felt many times that I was doing things very differently than the way my mom had raised my siblings and I. I also came to the realization that doing something slightly different, did not mean I disagree with how I was raised.
I didn’t have the technology availability along with the organic foods and products but I was part of the first generation of mom’s that worked full time when my children were very young. There was an amazing amount of guilt that came along with that, as the standard when I was being raised was that “good moms” stayed home and raised their children. What was the impact going to be? Was I a “bad mom”?
New moms are trying so hard to “do it right” while facing the challenges of everyday life. On this day after Mother’s Day, as I watch you learning to parent a toddler, I appreciate what a wonderful job you are doing and see that you are doing it even better than I did, even if you are doing things a little differently. Your Nanny would agree with my observations, if she were here and be so very proud – different is not bad or good, just different . Good job AlmostOrganicMama!
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